Monday, January 12, 2009

Tourism (1)

Because of "family issues," I don't have the chance to travel freely around the world and show up unannounced at the door of unsuspecting mail art friends (do not worry Keith!). That's why I'm very happy every time someone has enough balls (and money) to come all the way to Japan. One lady I'm particularly fond of is Jennie Hinchcliff of Red Letter Day zine and PodPost fame (the latter one is the dynamic duo she has started with partner-in-crime Carolee Gilligam Wheeler). Jennie-chan has an unhealthy passion for all things Japanese, and I've already had a chance to meet her in Tokyo not once but twice. In the photo below we are with her beau in front of Au Temps Jadis, a wonderful creperie in Shibuya (please note the fake European facade).

Every time we meet, Jennie never fails to bring some wonderfully weird present. This is a cute package she gave me the first time we met ("hajimemashite" means "nice to meet you").

When I managed to unravel the cleverly assembled combo, I found a bunch of nice envelopes she had made the night before in her hotel room by using paper she had picked up around Tokyo. I told you the girl is crazy.


Once in a while, she drags Carolee to Japan, and instead of taking it easy and visiting some nice museum, the two magpies roam the streets of Tokyo in search of used tickets, flyers, photos, cute-looking paper and other useful junk they later feature in their zines. This one is called Kimagure na dowa no hon.

If you want to have a look inside, you can check their wonderful web site out at http://www.podpodpost.com/shop.html You'll find many more delights.

Beware the Beat Motel





I have almost all the issues of this zine. This should be enough to tell you how much I like it. This is your typical punk zine, with lots of columns, zine and music reviews, and assorted articles, but as usual, the writing makes the difference, and the gang behind Beat Motel can write as well as anybody, beginning with boss Andrew Culture and his scatologically fantastic sense of humor. Or maybe I should say humour: I’m a sucker for British English – even though I’ve recently got so used to the American version that I often have to check my dictionary, or directly mail Andrew for directions. The latest issue #8 is an 80-page, 69,400-word monster featuring 18 columnists discussing the idea of ‘country’ and ‘nationalism,’, 67 zine reviews, 142 CD reviews, 10 live reviews, and a truckload of foul words.
The indefatigable Mr. Culture is also at the helm of Corndog Distro. Check out his web site and you will find more British zine delight.
2 pounds or $3 or 3 euros postpaid/Digest/52-80 pgs
Andrew Culture, PO Box 773, Ipswich, Suffolk IP1 9FT, UK
http://wemakezines.ning.com/profile/AndrewCulture
http://beatmotel.co.uk/ http://corndog.co.uk

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Showing Off


Mail art is based, among other things, on so-called 'gift culture.' In other words, most mail artists refuse the commercial side of art and prefer instead to send each other their own creations as gifts - which, admittedly, is not a difficult thing to do as our exchanges are based on friendship, not money or interest.




Speaking of friends, the t-shirt in the photo was sent to me by my dear amigo Joan Puig aka John Mountain from Barcelona. JOMO is a relatively recent addition to the mail art network, but he is very well regarded for the quality of his correspondence and his intellectual and artistic works. Actually he is not widely known, for the simple reason that he prefers to cultivate a small personal network of close friends whom he likes to spoil with unique gifts. Like this very limited production t-shirt that features his latest obsession: finding a new paradigm shift to save the world of (mail) art from its current condition. I don't really know how to contribute to his mad quest, but at the very least I can show off his precious gift.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Love Is a Hot Gun



As zine makers never tire to state, making a zine is in itself an awesome thing, and every person who takes the time to write, put together and share his or her creation with other people deserves to be praised. This said, it’s also true that too many zines are not all that interesting. Between poorly chosen subjects, navel-gazing perziners, and just plain bad writers, I sometimes wonder why I waste my time reading so-so stuff instead of a good book. Luckily once in a while I discover something truly different that manages to both entertain and inform. American Gun Culture Report goes even beyond that, as editor Ross Eliot tackles a controversial subject in an original, thought-provoking way. The subject, of course, is gun control; the role firearms play within society and culture; and how they relate to power, violence, and politics. More importantly, Ross wants to show that not all gun owners are your stereotypical supporters of the status quo or racist paranoiacs. As he writes in the premiere issue of AGCR, “there should be no contradiction between advocating for human rights as well as gun rights.” (To get the idea, you only have to check his web site out and have a look at the photo gallery, featuring a seemingly out of place bunch of gays, Goths, and other strangely clothed people at a shooting range in Portland).
I was born and raised in Italy, and Europe has been for years an anti-gun environment. My father was a police officer, and in my family we all knew where he kept his pistol, but the place was strictly off-limits and I never even dreamed of touching it. For the last 16 years, then, I have lived in Japan, a country where firearm ownership is severely restricted. They put you in prison even if you own a modified toy gun. Indeed, the general opinion here is that the strict national laws must be thanked for the very low rate of violent deaths. With such a background, you can imagine the attitude with which I approached this zine (let’s say “open but skeptical”). Also, I keep thinking that the USA is in many respects an extreme country with extreme social conditions, and what can be considered acceptable and even necessary for people living there – “we have a moral right and responsibility to defend ourselves and our families against harm” (Wild West style) – is a little out of place in our countries. But Ross really does a very fine job of balancing all the different points of views. Another thing I noticed is that in the span of three issues, he has somewhat expanded the scope of AGCR from a strictly-gun-talk zine to a place where social and political issues are thoroughly explored. And of course there is the writing: AGCR currently boasts some of the most interesting, articulate, wickedly funny writers in zinedom. And no, Ross didn’t have to point a gun to my head to make me write such a good review. Order AGCR and find for yourself.

American Gun Culture Report
Issues #1-3, $3.00, $10.00 for a 4-issue subscription, 52 pages www.myspace.com/agcr308
editor@americangunculturereport.com http://www.americangunculturereport.com/

Friday, August 22, 2008

Back to the Roots

I’m a hardcore townie and could never live in the countryside, let alone engage in such activities as gardening or growing my own vegetables. This of course does not mean that I don’t enjoy reading about people who lead that kind of life and more generally embrace a more sustainable lifestyle. I actually envy them because I’m conscious that they are fundamentally right and it is people like me who are ruining our dead old planet.


Enter Dan Murphy and Trace Ramsey, two nice guys who like to get their hands dirty and rant about their life choices. Dan describes himself as a “gentleman farmer” (“but just because it sounds cool,” he adds) and his zine The Juniper as 1) the journal of a budding horticulturist; 2) a flippant response to the Man’s agenda; and 3) a heartfelt attempt at knocking some sense into society. The two issues I have (#9 and #10) are rather slim but they are very worth reading. In issue #9, for example, he writes about his experience working as the assistant farm manager of an organic farm near the University of Idaho. What I like the most, though, is Dan’s attitude, his down-to-earth approach and especially the lack of preaching. He is the first one to admit his faults and all the things he could do more or better, and in doing this he helped me feel more comfortable with my own contradictions.

Even Trace is actively engaged in supporting local and organic farms. He has been putting out his zine Quitter since 2005. After publishing five issues, he has decided to collect the whole lot into a 40-page hand-made book and he was kind enough to send me copy #35 (I know because each copy is numbered). The object itself is a little jewel, with a great color cover and color and b/w illustrations throughout. And then there’s the writing, of course. Put it simply, I believe that the best writing is the kind that 1) manages to be engaging regardless of the subject; 2) makes me think; and most of all 3) makes me feel like I want to take highlighter and pen and cover the pages with comments and orange marks. Quitter managed to do all these things.
Trace writes what he calls creative non fiction, and through the years has developed the ability to put common words together in original combinations. He manages to be sophisticated in a natural, unassuming way. At the same time, he anchors his rants with stories taken from his memories. Sometimes he will write something like “I was born with an extra pair of ribs” and the reader (or at least a dumb reader, such as myself) will search for hidden meanings until he realizes that is the plain truth. Apart from the autobiographical notes, the common theme that returns in all the five issues is Trace’s decision to “quit” the kind of world that humankind has turned into a huge pile of garbage. Quitting a job he hates and translates into “someone else’s hopes and mortgage and car payments;” quitting unconscious consumption; temporarily quitting the civilized world in order to live for three months in “solitary confinement” in a forest and study the breeding habits of a small songbird… What he will not quit is fighting to “preserve the history of (…) an idea that would often be considered irrelevant by the dominant culture,” and writing “for an audience that is resilient in its opposition of being taken for granted.” What can you ask more from a zine?

Back to Dan, he publishes another zine, Elephant Mess, that couldn’t be more different from The Juniper. I’ve got issue #19 that is supposed to be a kind of celebration (it is subtitled “Nice Things – The Ten Year Anniversary”) but the general mood is rather gloomy. As much as The Juniper is a call to go out and do stuff, this one is the occasion to explore darker places. It’s all about things that hurt, old wounds that never heal, and longing for solitude. As Dan himself admits, “I enjoy the reactions I receive when I routinely embody pessimism.” Luckily Dan doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, and the overall effect is often amusing. Another major difference is the writing: The Juniper’s plain, direct style is replaced here by a more convoluted prose, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Even though Dan thinks he often sounds like an imbecile, I found this a rewarding reading experience. If you want to know 101 more things about Dan, you can have a look at his blog (listed below).

The Juniper and Elephant Mess
$2 each, Dan Murphy, P.O. Box 3154, Moskow, ID 83843, USA, juniperjournal@hotmail.com , http://juniperbug.blogspot.com/

Quitter
$15 plus shipping. Trace Ramsey, 160 A. W. Buckner Rd, Siler City, NC 27344, USA, localrevolt@hotmail.com , http://www.goodlucknotdying.com/

Thursday, July 03, 2008

My Zines Reviewed

Well yes, sometimes you review, sometimes you get reviewed. This is what other publications think about my zines. In case you are interested, all of them are still available - for less than you folks pay your government to destroy the environment, kill other people and organise silly useless summits.

Call & Response #1 reviewed by Erin (One Fine Mess)
One thing is for sure: Call & Response is 2004's best English-language zine written by an Italian living in Japan. That's faint praise, so I should add that this engaging debut would stand out whatever the niche. In this issue, Gianni tells of travels, his occupation (teaching Italian to Tokyo-area students), his flair of filching photocopies, and his history in the world of mail art. Don't let the complicated overseas mailing address scare you, my pretties. Call & Response is worth that trip to the post office. [5.5” x 8.5”, $3 or 3 IRCs postpaid worldwide, selective trades (contact first)] jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp

Call & Response #1 reviewed by Doreen King (New Hope International Review http://www.geraldengland.co.uk/revs/)
This booklet has a mail art feel, with the personal, chatty and rather intimatefeel that mail art brings. It is full of short articles and anecdotes of the type that would not be out of place on a low ebb chat show. The artwork is very good

Call & Response #1 reviewed by Sean Stewart (The Zine Rack)
This is a new personal zine from passionate mail artist Gianni Simone. Most of the stories have been previously published in other places, but they still convey a unified, and intriguing, portrait of Gianni. And, as would be expected from a mail artist, the layout and graphics in here are top-notch. The color of the cover stock is really cool, too, and one that I’ve never seen before. And the cover features a color-copied photo of the man himself in India, posing with a four-legged companion. Topics inside range from a diary of photocopy thievery to breakfast in India, and from mail art to insect encounters. Gianni’s writing is expressive and articulate, even in his non-native language of English, which makes his new zine a pleasure to read. I’ll be looking forward to future issues!



Call & Response#2 reviewed by Keith Rosson (Razorcake http://www.razorcake.org/)
This one’s put together by the same guy that does Org{an}ism, and it could almost be considered an accompanying issue of that zine. This one also explores the theme of home and belonging, albeit with a lot more contributors this time around. Simone deserves a high-five for assembling a truly diverse group of contributors here. Standouts are 1.) John Adams’s scary account of being processed into prison—the delousing, the shower, the head-shaving, all the stuff in his pockets placed in an envelope and filed away for his release. 2.) Onjana Yawnghwe’s charming typewritten/hand-drawn history of all the houses she’s lived in throughout her life. 3.) Vincent Voelz’s lengthy story about moving from Minnesota to SF. See, that’s the cool thing about this zine: some of these stories are almost heartbreaking in their depth and sincerity, and some of them just detail trying to find home, trying to belong and feel a part of, in such a kind of average way that it’s so easy to relate to. That’s what makes this thing such a good read—that ability to identify. [$4, 5½” x 8½”, photocopied, 60 pgs]

Call & Response #2 reviewed by Quismada (Xerography Debt http://www.leekinginc.com/xeroxdebt/index.htm http://xerographydebt.blogspot.com/)
This is a collection of some highly talented writers who share their experiences about home. Give credit to zine maestro Gianni Simone for putting together yet another classy publication. Some of these writings will make you cry, others will make you snicker, either way, few people will read the zine without being touched in some way. The writers come from all over the globe and this zine is an open window to their lives. Put that travel book aside and if you're thinking about moving? Consult this zine first.

Call & Response #2 reviewed by Geoff Huth (http://dbqp.blogspot.com/)
Yesterday, I received a copy of the second issue of Call & Response, another zine from Gianni Simone, an Italian who seems to create only English-language zines while living in Japan. As with anything I receive from Gianni, this zine is carefully crafted. In this case, part of that craft is explained by the subtitle of the issue: "at home -- not at home." Gianni asked a number of his correspondents to write about "traveling - living abroad - culture shock - cultural heritage - feeling an outsider in the place where you live - different concepts of 'home.' This zine of Gianni's gives us some insight into others' points of view about home and how those changed over their lives. The visual poet David Baptiste Chirot writes about the concept "Home is where I hang my hat," recounts a non-meeting in Paris with the hat of William Saroyan, and tells us about living overseas and in a transitional home in Milwaukee. A couple of his famous frottage poems (which he calls "rubBEings") bookend his essay. The mailartist Bernd Reichert, whose work is often vispoetic, includes a small multilingual collage as well as the story of an East German self-exiling himself to Belgium after the reunification of Germany. Randall Osborne tells a too-short story of a home broken up and of how both of his names slowly changed on him against his will. Carlos M. Luis, "the great gesture writer of visual poetry," writes about being a Cuban immigrant to America, whose views are anti-Castro yet not in line with the Cuban-American majority.Onjana Yawnghwe tells us about her life in Thailand and the corollary of that life in Vancouver. She tells us a fully verbo-visual story. She draws simple pictures of her homes (often they layouts), types her story around those pictures, and then emends the text by hand. This ends up giving her story a childlike quality that I enjoyed.
But I'm giving away too many of the stories. There are six or seven more. This zine is the first in a long time that brings back to me a whiff of the Factsheet Five era, when my friend Mike Gunderloy served as the central node of a huge network of zines, when my mailbox was always full of some sweet gift from Asia or Europe or North America. (Gianni, for instance, writes the bios of each of his correspondents in this issue, giving the boring author bio some life and relevance.) This zine reminds of the network that once was. But it is mostly about the stories.We hear four stories from visual poets alone in these pages, two stories from people whose fathers were diplomats, two stories that mention tamarinds, as well as stories from Asia, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, and both Americas. All of the people we hear from are artists of some kind, but of the type I call invisible artists (because I am one myself). Invisible artists don't make a big splash, don't really become famous, don't make any noticeable money off their art, and sometimes live the usual lives of usual people in unusual ways. There are some great stories in here, simply told, along with a few surprises about the lives of visual poets.
Call & Response is available for $4 or 3 IRCs worldwide. email.



Orga{ni}sm #1 reviewed by Davida Gypsy Breier (Xerography Debt #16)
I've been interested in Japan since becoming friends with a Japanese freelance writer a few years ago. I think about going to visit her in Tokyo one day. It is captivating to read about a place you want to visit, especially through the eyes of someone who lives there, yet who started as an outsider.In addition to Gianni's description of the city, food, and movies, and mass transit, Brant Kresovich (For the Clerisy zine) offers an essay about Jack Seward, Robin Bougie (Cinema Sewer zine) dreams about Japan, and Gigantor has a strange job interview. Recommended.

Orga{ni}sm #2 reviewed by Stephanie Holmes (Xerography Debt #20)
This is a travel and personal zine about the author's life in Japan. It's awonderful blend of essays (one to note is one about the first Western immigrants in Japan) and personal accounts including modern tales of healthcare in Japan, people watching on a train, memories of cultural integration by revisiting the author's stash of personal letters, and interactive lists (report of communication between author and readers) about free things to do and have in the city. Also includes contributions from two of XD's own, Bobby Tran Dale and Brent Kresovich (For the Clerisy zine). Highly recommended

Orga{ni}sm #2 reviewed by Keith Rosson (Razorcake)
Written in English by an Italian currently residing in Japan. The theme of this issue is “first contacts,” and Simone and Orga{ni}sm’s few contributors do a great job sticking with the theme while still keeping things interesting. While the majority of it is centered around Japan (things you can do/get for free, people-watching on the train, a history of immigration to the country, etc.), there’s also a running, almost unspoken undercurrent of just trying to feel at home in a place that is very, very different from what you’re used to. That’s what makes this thing such a captivating read. While there’s nothing explicitly “punk” about this, the writing and content transcends that—it’s a pretty consuming zine, put together by the same guy that does Call And Response. [$4, 5½” x 8½”, copied, 48 pgs.]

Orga{ni}sm #2 reviewed by Caroline (Zine World #25 http://www.undergroundpress.org/ )Color cover with great layout and formatting, well-organized and easily guides the reader into its pages. Many articles about life in Japan from a sociological perspective, written well and often from a wry perspective. Included in this issue is a packet of tissues with the following curse, “Issue #2 comes with a free packet of tissues. The packet cannot be sold separately. Those who will try to sell the tissues for personal gain are going to catch a deadly case of bird flu.” Very good read, well worth the time. jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp [$4 US or 3 IRC’s 44S :30]

Call & Response #3 / Orga{ni}sm #3 reviewed by Lauren Trout (Razorcake)

This split is pretty rad. Orga{ni}sm features personal horror stories and straight facts dealing with the Japanese legal and prison systems, which take the cultural standards of conformity and subordination to extremes. Call & Response publishes firsthand accounts of prison conditions and some broader information related to the problems that plague the prison system in America. This split is remarkable to me because it manages to avoid articles full of anti-prison rhetoric and news about the handful of American political prisoners who have received national attention—topics that have been covered to death in prison-themed literature. This is a great personal zine of well-written contributions from different people who happen to be incarcerated or are interested in sharing information about the prison system. (jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp) [$4 ppd., 5'' x 8'', photocopied w / color cover, 56 pgs.]

Call & Response and Orga{ni}sm reviewed by http://www.syndicateproduct.com/
As mentioned earlier this year, I’ve had a rough time finding zines that aren’t just perzines disguised as reprints of LiveJournal entries. These two zines from an Italian ex-pat living in Japan were a pleasant wake-up call – the writing from Gianni and contributors is just plain interesting to read. He’s also Xerography Debt’s resident mail art expert, and maintains a blog about mail art and zines, Gloomy Sundays. Send $6 for both to Gianni Simone. You’ll receive an artfully decorated envelope with cool stamps!

Call & Response #3 / Orga{ni}sm #3 reviewed by Dann Lennard (Betty Paginated) [This interview was originally slated for publication in Zine World #26 but was sent too late and didn't make it - my fault, not Dann's]

I enjoyed the articles in this split zine that examines prison life in Japan and abroad, even if I’m not sympathetic to many of the sentiments. Yeah, prison life is terrible – I get it. It’s just…well, they’re CRIMINALS and deserve to be in locked up. I can’t feel sorry for the fuckers. Still, I thought the zine was interesting. Life in prison is shit – and it’s fascinating to learn how inmates cope with their daily lives. But, frankly, they got themselves into this mess, so…y’know… jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp [US$4 post-paid worldwide 56S :45]

Call & Response #3 / Orgna{ni}sm #3 reviewed by Emerson Dameron (Zine Thug #12) (to read the whole review: http://www.zinethug.com/)

America has a larger percentage of incarcerated citizens than any other nation on earth. (...) Prison might be the only growth industry we've got left. Yes, there are sociopathic assholes in our midst, and I'd rather not split a cab with them, but America's prison-industrial complex is an out-of-control monster, no one seems to know what most of these people are actually in for, and no one seems to be talking about it in mass earshot. Both sides of this split are devoted to prisoners, pretty much the only American zine writers who have any beeswax calling their shit 'zsamizdat. ' C&R showcases the paint-peeling wit of inmate John Adams and the addictive freestyling of inmate Seth Ferranti. (...) The deceptively precious title Orga {ni }sm reps joint life in should-be-zine-god Gianni Simone's adopted Japanese homeland, complete with goofy illustrations. This issue's pick o' the litter, easy. jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp



Call & Response #3 / Orga{ni}sm #3 reviewed by Blackguard (http://blackguard23.livejournal.com)
How wonderful it was to recently learn about Gianni Simone's zines Orga{ni}sm and Call & Response (thanks to Xerography Debt!). In 1992 Gianni moved from Italy to Japan and has been living there ever since. He is a language teacher, teaching Italian to the Japanese. In 2004 he started up a zine, or two zines (not sure which came first since both are at #3) as a means to share his experiences and opinions of life in Japan. Gianni generously sent me Orga{ni}sm #1 and 2 plus the split Orga{ni}sm #3/Call & Response #3. His covers are very nice, with obvious handmade touches. When I was reading one on the bus I had people giving me curious and envious looks. All they had was a crummy iPod. Inside I read about Gianni's history and explanation of how he came to move to Japan, as well as his involvement with *mail art*. He rides an old streetcar line and documents the journey. Elsewhere he writes about food, like that available at Techno Sushi, a sushi restaurant where they blast deafening techno music to make you eat fast and leave quickly, and Strictly Ramen, a ramen joint ruled by the iron fist of Tokyo's answer to Seinfeld's Soup Nazi. On the grimmer side, his split zine focusses on prison and state-organised punishment of all kinds. Most fascinating in this issue was the details about life in a Japanese prison and the accompanying illustrations by Kazuichi Hanawa, a manga artist who spent time in prison and drew a manga about it. The zine also contains contributions from actual prisoners.
All three zines are fantastic and highly recommended. [Email Gianni at jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp to order copies, he is up for selective trades.]

Call and Response #4 reviewed by Astrogirlzarro, http://astrobabylon.blogspot.com/

A parcel arrived from Japan a few days ago, sent by the zine maestro, Gianni Simone, containing some of his exceptional zines, one of them being Call and Response. The zines were accompanied by a gracious letter written in Gianni’s distinctive handwriting (which resembles Japanese ideographic characters to my eyes) on the back of a photocopied image. Veteran zinesters never fail to amaze me with their proficient use of stationery, printed media, and innovative ideas when it comes to beautifying snail mail. The most ingenious I get is sticking cheap Betty Boop stickers randomly onto drab manila envelopes for my zine mail out. I’m not exactly letting my freak flag fly in the mail art department, but I’m working on it.
Issue four of Call and Response is a (mostly) black and white photocopied collaborative zine. The theme is Windows (as in the peep holes in buildings not the computer operating system). The stories vary in quality and are written by a clutch of zinesters in various stages of their self publishing journey. They attack the theme from different and fascinating angles; no two stories are alike.
Swedish contributor Mikael X Eriksson records some fine insights in his Libraries and Churches Saved My Life piece. He says:

‘there are two places where you can always sit in peace without having to spend any money: libraries and churches.'

It got me thinking about the astrological significance of what he said.
In the birth chart, libraries and churches are institutions traditionally ruled by the twelfth house of what is hidden from the mundane world. The institutions represented by this sector of the chart are not established for profiteering; they are organisations set up to shelter and protect the vulnerable (hostels and halfway houses); heal the sick (hospitals); reform the misfit (prison); educate the curious (universities and libraries); and provide solace to the seeker (churches). Eriksson states that he had a drinking problem and then lived rough. Libraries and churches played a significant part in his survival during this phase. The twelfth house demands that you confront your demons and take responsibility for your recovery within the parameters of these institutions. I think that Eriksson’s piece represents the twelfth house anecdote completely.
He ends his story experiencing true twelfth house divine home sickness:

'I’ve had many addresses in many cities. Never a place to call my home. I’ve come to understand that when I miss home, I miss a place inside myself. A place I’ve never lived in. A place I constantly long for and will probably never find.’

Eriksson, my man, I hope you find want what you’re looking for.
Call and Response also contains other gems written by Gianni himself, Andrew Culture, K Frank Jensen, and a couple of Australian journalists/zinesters, Dann Lennard and Helen Vnuk, who write about the view of Harris Park, a suburb in western Sydney, from their window. The stories are multi-layered, mature, and thoroughly engaging.
To discover more about zine extraordinaire Gianni Simone and his various self publishing projects, check out his blogs Gloomy Sundays at http://gloomy-sundays.blogspot.com/ and A Man Called Horse at http://man-horse.blogspot.com/. They are also good insights into Japan’s zine culture.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A few years ago, while doing some business with the mighty Tokyo-based Wasabi Distro ( http://www.wasabi-distro.com/) I discovered Picaresque, a zine from Australia. I got issues #7 and #9 and I was hooked after reading one page. The idea behind the project is very simple: Brendan Rocks writes his memories, from his childhood to the present. The memories, though, are numbered, and distributed randomly, each one usually being only a few lines long. For example, one issue may start with memory #75, then continue with #102, #13, #28, with the lower numbers representing the older stories. It's a clever enough device, actually quite engaging, but what makes the zine really good is Brendan's writing, his understated sense of humor, and the matter-of-fact approach with which he tells both funny and sad stories.
I recently mailed him at brendanrocks@hotmail.com to check on the zine's status, and Brendan was kind enough to send me his latest issue, #10, that unfortunately seems to be the last one of the series. However he still seems to have plenty of back issues. You'll better get some of them before he runs out of stock.
Brendan Rocks, 17 Mayes St, Stawell, VIC 3380, Australia
I've just got the first two issues of Adam Pasion's Sundogs zine. You'll better check what I wrote about them in my Japan-themed blog http://orga-ni-sm.blogspot.com/ ...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

In the world of contemporary art, everybody only seems interested in talking about marketability, auctions and the rising price of paintings. Long cherished words such as “creativity” and “self-expression” have been replaced by the new catchphrase: “art = investment.” And yet there are still people who reject the dog-eat-dog attitude of most professional artists and emphasize instead the communicative, collaborative aspect of the artistic practice. I’m talking of course of the international mail art network that for almost 50 years has mostly flied under the radar of the art establishment. While in the art world everything seems to have a price, mail artists embrace trading and gift culture. And while the pompous rites of the art with a capital $ are consumed in ever bigger, cathedral-like museums, the mail artists are satisfied with much more modest, intimate spaces. Among them, one of the more peculiar and interesting “places” is the Museum of Temporary Art (MoTA) that you can find… in the living room of Benjamin and Debby Böhm in Tubingen, Germany.



“The idea for the museum was born by chance in 2000,” Benjamin explains, “when I found in a supermarket a 50 x 40 x 10 cm box with 33 small drawers that immediately reminded me of those Fluxus kits from the 60s, and decided to give it to Debby as a birthday present.” Debby suggested they may use it as a “guestbook” – visitors could take something from the box and replace it with something they carried on them. But that was only the first step: Benjamin’s other great love is Dada – the European group of anti-art terrorists who at the beginning of the 20th century turned many traditional artistic assumptions on their head – and their playful, iconoclastic attitude. So he proposed to turn it into a full-fledged museum, with a director (Debby), its logo, rubberstamps and other museum-related paraphernalia.



Then they decided to go global and started posting calls in the Internet, making this an ongoing project. As Benjamin explains, “anybody is invited to send us a contribution – by mail, of course. There are no juries and everything is accepted, in typical mail art fashion. The only condition is that the object cannot be bigger than 4 x 4 x 8 cm – otherwise it wouldn’t fit into the drawer. “Also,” adds Benjamin, “don’t forget to send along the exhibition sheet that everybody can download from the museum’s Web site http://www.museum-of-temporary-art.com/, because the stories behind the objects are as important as the objects themselves.” The MoTA’s collection currently amounts to nearly 800 pieces (they are thinking of organizing a great retrospective exhibition when they reach 1000) and includes both traditional artworks and found objects that remind us of the infamous Marcel Duchamp’s “ready mades.” “Most of the contributions,” Debby points out, “are linked to a memory or a particular occurrence. This gives them a special value, and that is what we love about the whole project.”



The MoTA, of course, can house only 33 exhibits at a time (hence the term “temporary art”). This means that every time a new contribution arrives in the mail, the oldest one is replaced (on the Web site, you can always have a look at what currently is in the museum, together with all the descriptions). So what happens to all the pieces after they have had their 15 minutes of “fame”? Debby reassures us that “we don’t sell them but keep the whole lot in our archive.” Like most people who are active in the mail art network, they are not professional artists (Benjamin is a computer programmer; Debby works for a book publisher). They are into it only because they like it, and the MoTA can be considered a labor of love. They are always open to collaboration and welcome anybody, regardless of his or her artistic skill. To contribute to the project, you only have to send something (you can check out the Web site for inspiration) together with the exhibit sheet (please write in English or German) to the following address: Museum of Temporary Art, c/o Debby Böhm, Lange Gasse 25, 72070 Tübingen, Germany. In exchange you will receive a copy of your exhibit sheet and one of the object your contribution has replaced. Not only that, once every 100 exhibits, they send to all the participants a beautiful full-color catalogue (I just found one in my mail box). All this, of course, is for free, in the best mail art tradition. Have fun!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007





By now, all the people who know me have been told ad nauseam that I live in Japan. I even have a zine about all things Japanese called Orga{ni}sm (if you don’t know it yet, you can have a look at its very seldom updated electronic version http://orga-ni-sm.blogspot.com/). In few words, I’m interested in everything and everyone even remotely related to this country. That’s why as soon as I discovered a zinester with the very Japanese-sounding name of MariNaomi, I contacted her and she was kind enough to send me a copy of her beautiful publication Estrus Comics #4 (US$5.00 in the US, $8.00 anywhere else). Actually the only references to Nipponland I could find were in the last two pages, one devoted to a recipe for shabu shabu and the other the tale of a Japanese-style party gone wrong. I was far from disappointed, though. MariNaomi creates autobiographical comics full of personality. The stories that comprise the first part – about her early romantic (mis)adventures – run the whole gamut of teen-age idiosyncrasies, insecurities and tragedies. I’m now 43 and supposedly more stable and – god forbid – wiser, but thinking back at my teen years and early 20s still sends a chill down my spine. MariNaomi, though, seems to be a tougher kid who can handle life’s big and small accidents with great aplomb. The girl has a rebel streak and a ton of attitude, that’s for sure. She is especially good with face expressions, not a small accomplishment considering that she usually keeps things very simple.


Look at her face on page 3, for example: instead of crying, her face only shows disbelief and utter disgust for the unjust punishment she has to endure. Then on page 14 she is supposed to console her more-or-less boyfriend whose brother just committed suicide, but apparently she is only disappointed for another wasted date – which is a very natural reaction, methinks.



MariNaomi’s style is very minimal, sometimes even experimental, like in the wonderful single panel on page 39. She uses bold strokes and is heavy on black, but the overall design is very clear and uncluttered. I definitely look forward to issue #5.

I must confess I’ve never been a great fun of underground comics or comic zines. All too often the art is very rough, unpolished, and it ends up ruining even the best stories. This doesn’t mean, of course, that the stories are not important, quite the contrary, but if I don’t like the art, I don’t even open the zine. Therefore I was pleasantly surprised when Mark Selan, indefatigable promoter of the Australian comic scene, sent me three of the fine zines he publishes under the SureShot Presents moniker. Actually I had only asked for Mandy Ord’s Ordinary Eyeball ($4.00), but in the fat packet he sent me I found other gems, namely L. Frank Weber’s Crab Allan: Gothic Boogaloo ($4.00) and a two-in-one by Douglas Holgate: Checkmate Wordsworth and Spaghetti Western ($4.00).


Crab Allan is a photographer with a tendency to jump into any kind of troubles. The story in Gothic Boogaloo doesn’t make a lot of sense but you don’t notice it anyway, taken as you are by the jokes, the fast-paced action and the top-notch art.

The same thing can be said about the two Holgate’s stories, which add to the standard adventure / action genre a touch of surrealism and exoticism (whatever that means). I especially loved Checkmate Wordsworth with its very British atmosphere (I’m a sucker for anything British!), an Agent Erronious who resembles the Phileas Fogg of Around the world in Eighty Days and a sort of Lovecraftian monster from outer space.

The best thing in Spaghetti Western , on the other hand, is the “cowboy English” spoken by its hapless characters. Very funny – at least to me, a non-native English speaker. You better love this comic. Otherwise, as the sheriff says, “you’ll be lergic to mah boot in yer backside!”

Both Weber’s and Holgate’s comics feature very polished art and are very professional-looking. In a sense, they look closer to mainstream comics. Ordinary Ball, on the other hand, is more ziney, both in its look – much rougher, even though a closer inspection reveals all the work that went into its making – and its contents – a typical perzine, with “a lot of honesty and vulnerability involved,” as Ord’s says in the enclosed interview.

The world of Ord’s comics is made of goofy people who painfully resemble us and are constantly caught in embarrassing situations and awkward moments. It’s a world in which even a simple shower looks frightening.

I started buying zines back in 1997, and soon found myself a niche in the market: I specialized, so to speak, in soon-to-be-dead publications. The fact is, as soon as I discovered a zine, the person behind it pulled the plug on it. I barely managed to get hold of the last two issues of the seminal Factshhet 5 and Global Mail before they became history. In 1999 I sent for the German mail art forum Numero and its editor promptly declared that was going to be its final issue (I later resurrected it as KAIRAN - see the "Gianni's stuff for sale" label for details). I could name at least ten more similar cases. So you can imagine my consternation when, soon after ordering a copy of Betty Paginated (AUS: $10; England and Europe: 5 pounds; US, Canada & rest of the world: US$10) I read in a review that after 15 years and 30 issues, editor and publisher supremo Dann Lennard had decided to call it quits. Luckily it seems that Dann is only scaling his enterprise down and from now on he will put out smaller zines, not the 70-80 page A4-sized monsters he had become famous for.

Wait a second, I just said ‘luckily’ but I suspect that not few PC zine people would actually celebrate the death of this mag. Admittedly, BP’s contents are not for everybody. The “problem” is, Dann has a(n) (un)healthy passion for naked women and pro rasslin’ (his spelling). These two subjects comprise a good part of the zine. In issue #29, for instance, I counted 12 pro wresting-related pages (out of 68) and 27 pairs of naked tits. Then of course there is other lowbrow material – trash cinema, celebrity gossip… after all Dann is deputy editor of People magazine. So why should you check BP out? Well, first of all, even if you don’t like wrestling (I don’t) and you are sexually repressed, there is still plenty to read. In issue #29, for example, there are 20 pages of great travel writing: Dann and his wife Helen chronicle their second trip to the USA (22 states in three weeks!) and are very good at uncovering the odd, embarrassing, sometimes even scary sides of this country. You should especially check Helen’s pieces. She looks like your typical apple pie-loving middle class wife but boy, is she wicked! She’s an excellent writer and Dann should give her more space. Then there are music, book, weird comics (issue #30 is devoted to this subject) and zine reviews. But most importantly, Dann and Helen know how to entertain. Their stories are full of wit and humor, but even more than that, they are not afraid to show you the shit that surrounds us. They hold a big (maybe a little deformed) mirror in front of us and show us what life is really made of. And in doing that, they take no prisoners.

The last zine I’m going to review this time is called Old Weird America (issue #2 is a slightly different That Olde, Weird America) (US$2.00). It first caught my eye several months ago when Broken Pencil (the Canadian equivalent of Zine World) featured it as the “zine of the month.” Think about that: here you have a big mag that reviews literally hundreds of Canadian zines, and they choose something from south of the border as the best of the lot. One more reason for the Canadians to hate evil America, I guess. But I digress. In the first issue, Rose White writes about how shitty but wonderful Detroit is (or was: judging by the state of the place back in 2005 I wouldn’t be surprised if by now it had imploded and gone to hell). It’s a typical example of something that on paper sounds very romantic (remember those great early Bruce Springsteen’s songs?) but that nobody in their right mind would actually want to experience in person. Indeed, Rose herself left Detroit to look for more trouble in New York, the subject of the second issue.

Her style is plain enough, and somewhat deceiving. She sounds like a contrabass from one of those vinyl records from the ‘40s and’50s: you notice her absence, more than her presence; like when, in issue #1, you read someone else’s stories and you finally understand how good she is. More than for what she wrote, she struck me for what she made me think about – myself, my relationship with my equally shitty hometown, and my own escape from there, 15 years ago. In issue #2 she suddenly transforms into a stripper in order to survive in the Big Rotten Apple. Somehow, her writing gets even better: more focused, more compact. More interesting.

Estrus Comics, c/o MariNaomi, P.O. Box 640811, San Francisco, CA 94164-0811, USA marinaomi@pobox.com <http://www.marinaomi.com/>

SureShot Presents, mark_selan@hotmail.com

Mandy Ord, www.melbournecomics.com/mandyord

L. Frank Weber, http://www.lfrankweber.com/

Douglas Holgate, http://www.skullduggery.com.au/

Betty Paginated, P.O.Box A1412, Sydney South, NSW 1235, Australia mailto:danhelen@idx.com.au<http://www.bettypaginated.blogspot.com/>

Old Weird America, P.O. Box 6598, NY, NY 10150, USA old_weird@yahoo.com

Sunday, July 15, 2007

,Mail Art and Politics
One thing tha many mail artist always like to stress when talking about their activities (although many others don't seem to agree) is that the communicative aspect is far more important than art for art’s sake, and collaboration is one of the key words in the Network, whose ultimate goal is building a sort of alternative approach to culture. This is a practice that the advent of the Internet has amplified to enormous proportions. All these different but often overlapping networks share many strategies and the common principle that “if the Establishment ignores us, we can easily do without it.”
One notable consequence of this approach is that many mail artists are socially and/or politically committed and strive to include these issues in their activity. Here are two examples of the innumerable projects that are constantly being organised. Both of them where started by me (you will excuse me for showing off a little bit …).
Fighting Back - Stop Violence against Women was born because I’m a member of Amnesty International, the worldwide voluntary activist movement working for human rights. At the end of every year, AI Japan reports on its state of health, and the recurring theme in recent years has been that we are constantly losing members and in this country, AI has become more or less an invisible entity. So we felt the need to enhance our public image, trying, in the process, to lure more people into our ranks.


When another member pointed out that the 2004-2006 worldwide campaign would have focused on domestic violence against women, as well as violence in conflict and post conflict, we decided to ask mail artists for help. This, by the way, is by no means the first time that AI and the Network have joined hands to address specific problems (other topics tackled in the past have been torture and the death penalty). A task group was formed, with me concentrating on the mail art part of the project (writing the call, spreading the word, and instructing the others on how to collect and catalogue the incoming works) while other people looked for a suitable venue for the exhibition, invited experts and activists to talk, and organised other collateral activities.






















All in all we were able to gather more than 250 contributions from all over the world, including postcards, collages, drawings, photographs, etc, and even local artists, who usually are not active in the mail art network, lent or donated paintings, sculptures and embroidery. The show was a huge success and it travelled to several cities.
Now that this part of the project is over, we are left with hundreds of copies of the catalogue. This is a beautiful, full-color, full-sized 24 page booklet, printed on glossy paper, containing a wide range of the works received, plus brief introductions to Amnesty International, mail art and the theme of the exhibition. If you are interested in visual arts and/or violence against women, or you simply want to help AI Japan to recover at least a part of the expenses, please contact me (jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp) One copy costs $5 to $7 on a sliding scale, postpaid worldwide. Please pay what you can afford and remember that it’s for a just cause.
Mail artists usually interact either by participating in big international exhibitions or on a one-to-one basis. The AI project was an example of the first type. The next project I’d like to describe belongs to the second and is a perfect example of what I like most in mail art: the many possibilities to collaborate and interact with a wide network of like-minded people.
It all started in 1998, when – as a contribution to Vittore Baroni’s Year of Incongruous Meetings – I made a couple of fake election campaign posters (it was election time in Japan) and briefly put them on the same billboard near my house where all the local candidates had put their ugly faces. The idea behind this action was that political elections have become a farce and are almost useless to really change society. It’s a rat race in which every candidate only aims at joining the elite and share power and money. The election posters they make in Japan are particularly cheesy and phoney and you can often see the horrible truth behind the candidates’ smiling masks. After that isolated performance, I decided to start a project, that I called The True Face of Politics, in which I invited some of my friends to make and send me their posters. I collected several works, but once it came to put them on the billboards, I realised I couldn’t do everything by myself, and the people who had offered to help, suddenly became unavailable. I can’t really blame them: after all, what I wanted to do was illegal, and to challenge authority while you live in a foreign country isn’t really a sane thing to do.
This way, the project became a sleeper, and has been kept on hold until now. A couple of years ago I finally found the time and energy to start working on it again, and was lucky to find a group of networkers who were all too happy to collaborate. So I made copies of the posters and sent them to Australia, China, Uruguay, and the US, where each one of my friends did what he or she wanted (or could do: the Shanghai part of the project was for obvious reasons a more private/secret thing).
When everything was over, my collaborators sent me the documentation they had produced (reports, photos, etc.) and now I’m finally putting everything together and producing the final doc, that will be included in my zine KAIRAN. Let me know if you want to order a copy of the forthcoming issue #13.







Do you like horror stories? Lately I find it increasingly difficult to find good ones, especially when it comes to movies. It seems that coming up with engaging, original plots is getting harder and harder. Even so called J-Horror (the recent new wave of films from Japan that became popular worldwide thanks to The Ring has reached a cul-de-sac. Oddly enough, some of the people who have recently provided me with the best bad vibes are sound artists…
Take, for example, Mark Sonnenfeld. Many of you should at least know his name because his booklets are often reviewed in a number of zine review zines. Mark has been very active in the mail art and experimental poetry circuits for many years now, but I recently discovered a new side of his creativity, when I found in my mailbox Experimental Tape New Jersey #2 that he produced together with the mysterious Ghostly Bus. ETNJ#2 is a slow-burning piece of suspense. Mark & GB avoid any loud noise, instead insinuating themselves into your ears with muffled sounds, strange voices, ringing telephones, and a robotik funk riff. This tape was the ideal soundtrack while reading the truly dreadful Gerald’s Game by Stephen King, one of the few writers who can still make the hair on my neck stand.



















The never-resting Sonnenfeld even collaborated with Ken Miller, another mail artist who likes to play (with) music. Miller added a catchy bass riff to a street recording of Mark’s A Red Shirted No Friends. The quiet main theme blends wonderfully with Mark’s plain recitation. Only in the mid-section things go a little crazy, when Ken juxtaposes two different vocal tracks and starts experimenting with music, but always in a very soft way.




















Miller’s usual stomping ground, though, is his almost one-man-band SinDex Industries – formerly (un)known as Sinister Dexter – through which he explores and sometimes abuses American musical tradition. Particularly good is the anthology Fifteen Years (1984-1999) in which you will find, among other things, weird blues songs; rock songs whose lyrics were pulled at random from a car repair manual; a couple of more atmospheric tracks; great versions of Beatles and Clash songs; and an effect of Ken’s invention called “Miracle Earache” which according to Mr. Miller, “along with producing the worst feedback imaginable, picks up several channels of AM radio. The album’s notes, by the way, are as hilarious and good as the music.
As every horror fan knows very well, the best stories often are the ones that deal with everyday life and ordinary people. In this sense one of the best recent projects I stumbled upon is the Quotidian Assemblages 3-CD series edited and produced by Hal McGee.



For those who don’t know him, Hal is a senior member of the huge D.I.Y. tape network that originated in the 70s and developed worldwide with more than a few contacts with the mail art community. Hal had the brilliant idea to invite a wild bunch of Mad Professors to create audio works based upon ordinary everyday sounds. Loren Steele, for example, shows you how a not-well-oiled window can upset your nerves. G..X. Jupitter-Larsen's plain field recording of the Paris metro acquires new sinister tones after the terrorist London bombings. Mystified’s “Pan Pan Pot Spoon” is all in its title, but the overall effect is as spooky as a Tibetan thriller. And then you have evil washing machines, undigested breakfasts, dog-walking gone wrong, apocalyptic radio news…
Perpetually house-moving mail artist and poet Jessy Kendall is another person who likes all-round playing. As Marcel Herms wrote in the third issue of his excellent zine Rigodon regarding Jessy’s CD Rough Ride of Crafts, “It’s always a good thing when you can’t immediately pigeonhole a record. Like this one.” Jessy uses a bunch of fairly conventional instruments on his release, but the end result is quite unconventional – not as creepy as I would like though… It jumps from voice-experiments to a synth-bass-based psychedelic jam to some weird loops. But its experimentation is always soft, and quite entertaining.



















Among other things, Jessy publishes a couple of interesting zines: a monthly collection of his poems and Answer Shirker, which features other people’s works, some in color [above left you can see a collaborative work he made with Jim Leftwich). His letters are very interesting too.
When not working on Rigodon (US$ 7.00) (a publication mostly devoted to noise & experimental music), Herms himself loves to torture your ears and brain with his usually very loud productions. Check them out at your own risk.
As I mentioned earlier, you don’t have to escape into the realm of ghosts and monsters to get your daily dose of horror. In this respect, the best CD that recently found its way into my mailbox is without doubt Franetta McMillian’s Reveries of the Solitary Walker (US$ 10.00).


Among these very well produced songs (actually more poetry with music) you will find scathing condemnations of past and current American politics, and of contemporary society; a sad, moving tale of domestic violence; a clever send-off of fanaticism, fundamentalism and terrorism; and a piece that could be defined as pro-euthanasia (see below). Actually there is much, much more in this excellent album, including seven instrumentals, and not everything is as bleak as I make it sound. Indeed, the overall mood is one of hope.























Okay, back to the classics, let me mention quickly a tape I made some time ago. The Overlook is a reworking of The Shining (yes, King again). A friend of mine recorded excerpts from the novel, which I mixed with old music from my own collection – nothing original – mostly alternative rock (e.g. Cassiber and Art Bears) and other strange music (Pierre Henry, Negativeland). It’s quite rough around the aural edges, but all in all it’s satisfyingly dark. If you want to give it a try, send me US$ 4.00 or an equivalent trade.
Thank you and good night.














Mark Sonnenfeld, 45-08 Old Millstone Drive, East Windsor, NJ 08520, USA
Ken Miller, P.O. Box, 101, Newtown, PA 18940-0101, USA <kenbmiller@gmail.com> <www.kenbmiller.com/satpostman>
Hal McGee, 1909E SW 42 Way, Gainesville, FL 32607, USA <Haltapes1@aol.com> <http://www.halmcgee.com/>
Jessy Kendall, shirk@riseup.net
Marcel Herms, Postbus 6359, 7401 JJ Deventer, The Netherlands mherms@home.nl
Franetta McMillian, PMB 170, 40 E. Main St, Newark, DE 19711 marybld@aol.com
Gianni Simone, 3-3-23 Nagatsuta, Midori-ku, Yokohama-shi, 226-0027 Kanagawa-ken, Japan jb64jp@yahoo.co.jp


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Yes, Sundays can be really gloomy. Or at least they used to be. Lately I manage to somewhat control myself - especially if the day before has been a good catch... Well, actually I should not complain about the postal service here: Japan is, in many respects, a paradise for all the lovers of the good ole (some say obsolete) art of letter writing. They always deliver the goods no matter what. Even if the sender has not put enough postage, the guys in green leave your mail in your box, of course adding a note in which they politely ask you to please go to the nearest post office and pay the difference (in Italy, il postino mafioso usually threatens to eat your letter in front of you if you don't pay on the spot). Rain, typhoons or earthquakes will never stop mail here. On the right you can see an envelope I got from German mail wunder-artist Eberhard Janke (of Edition Janus fame). For some reason it got completely wet before it could reach my house. On the left side you can see a brief not of apologies from the P.O. If you don't forgive them, they proceed to commit hara-kiri, like John Belushi's samurai in Saturday Night Live. Actually the accident caused the rubberstamp prints enclosed to bleed into each other, thus creating very interesting visual effects. Here's a nice example of chance collaboration between the artist and the postal service.
On the other side of satisfaction - and of the Pacific - we find the truly evil postal clerks of Baltimore, USA. Look what they did to the poor envelope on the left. It all started because I wrote the name of a zine - Leeking Ink - instead of the one of its editrix - Davida Gypsy Breier. That was enough for them to return it to me. So I decided to try again, but I don't like to do things the easy way, so I re-used the returned envelope, this time writing the right name AND the nice note you can see on the left side: "Dear Mr/Ms Postman, THIS is the right address. Thank you in advance for your cooperation." The ever kind people at the Japanese post office were worried that all those stamps and symbols would create some confusion, so they crossed the "return to sender" stamp, and wrote "to USA" with a black marker. But to no avail: after a few weeks, the doomed envelope reappeared inside my mail box. I've decided to add it to my collection of weird mail...
When you are finished reading this, you'll better check Davida's Web site: http://www.leekinginc.com/


Thursday, June 01, 2006

I'm already tired

I've just started with this monster and I'm already stressed-out. They say it's so easy, even dumb people can do it in five minutes. Definitely not a great way to boost my morale...
Gotta work now.